Ch12 “Propitiation”

“The terrible truth comes slowly clear to me: with her weakening, I will never be able to hold my mother accountable for her outcasting of me.  There is no time for our history to be righted” (153).

In this excerpt, Hall shares the beginnings of her mother's MS. She moves her into her home and cares for her daily as her disease worsens and worsens. As time goes by, Hall awaits the time in which her mother expresses guilt or apologizes for her actions in the past. However, that time never comes. Hall realizes that with her mother's weakening, she cannot drop this bomb on her. She cannot bring up the troubling and hard past and risk fighting with her fragile mom. The old woman simple doesn't have the strength and Meredith cannot put her through something that serious. Furthermore, Hall also realizes that her past is basically set in stone, and that makes her uneasy. Nothing can be done or resolved any longer. The past is the past and it will never be unearthed. No matter how much she wanted their past to be righted, Hall had to make peace with the fact that that was never going to happen while her mom had this horrible sickness.

Double Vision

“Within a few years, my mother and I will seem close again.  I love her.  But she will never again be my mother” (138).

In this quote, Hall is expressing her troubled relationship with her mother. She shares the years prior to her sudden pregnancy which were filled with light and love by her mother. However, Hall was shocked when her pregnancy took all of that away. Her mother, always so loving and mysterious, betrayed Meredith by shipping her off to her father. In her daughter's time of need, she couldn't comfort her. Instead, Meredy was abandoned and lonely. In those moments she realized the relationship between her and her mother would never be the same.

I can agree and understand when Hall states that she loves her mother, but she could never be her mother again. The once happy and understanding mother is long gone. After Meredy's pregnancy, she realized that her mother had changed, and for the worst. She abandoned her motherly duties towards Meredy and blocked off her once notable love and affection. However Hall still loves her, as she still loved her father after he told her to stay away from him, because she knows how the times once were. Meredy knows there is love deep down inside them, and she cannot throw away the wonderful memories of her childhood prior to her pregnancy.

Betrayal By The Closest

“I love my father, but he is a weak man”

Meredith's father was a strange man to me. He lied to his family and went on trips where he cheated on his wife, then came home and pretended that nothing was wrong. He didn't even understand why his family was crying when he announced he was married only a year into their divorce. But worst of all, when the family would visit his parents, he came home to them and pretended that the household was still together. It was all one ridiculous charade. Meredith was right when she said that her father is weak. He gives into temptations and orders very easily. He broke his vows and cheated on his wife multiple times, and he let Catherine control his life. When Meredith visited her dad, all she wanted was to hold his hand and feel his love after all this heartbreak. Instead, Catherine put a stop to everything fun and innocent, and filled Meredith's heart with frost and anger. Her father never objected, he simply did whatever Catherine said, and Meredith was hurt. However, she never gave up on her father, even when he gave up on her. Meredith tried fixing things to the very end.

Mama, Please

“’Do you know what this town is saying about me?’ my mother answers from above. ‘They say that my daughter is common, a slut’” (22).

On nights when Meredith cannot take the pressure of her new life, she prays. She prays for someone to hold her, help her, and tell her that everything will turn out okay. Most of these prayers are directed towards her mother, the person who was supposed to stand by Meredith throughout the course of this pregnancy. Someone who will not care what society thinks of her or her daughter's situation, because there are more important things in life than worrying about other people's problems. However, Meredith's mother was the opposite of a supportive figure. Her first instinct was to ship Meredith off far away to live with her father to avoid the embarrassment she would cause at home. She was constantly worried about what others thought of her, and her reputation, which Meredith picks up on after a while of neglect and apathy. I cannot begin to comprehend the emotional suffering that Meredith had to endure, and I do not want to. A parent should stand up for their children and comfort them no matter what, but Meredith's mom abandoned her motherly duties.

Without a Friend

"I allowed my family and my community to abandon me when I was drowning. Worst of all, I allowed my baby to be abandoned."

In this quote, Hall is blaming herself for a part of what had happend to her. I believe that in this thought she was sorry she did not do more to help herself. She let herself go and was left disconnected and unknowing of what the future could of been if she had fought. Hall had a strong spirit, but when it came to reaching out to someone in her time of need, she did not have the willpower, or the choice. Hall was in haze of neglect and isolation, which can greatly effect the mood and overall character of a person. Through the apathy and abandonment she suffered from her family and friends, Hall let that effect her baby. I think she began to feel the same disinterest and withdrawal from her baby as everyone else did from her. However, once she was older and wise enough to understand the consequences of her actions, she realized what terrible mistakes she had made. Hall was left shunned from her only community, and family, she had and loved, and she let herself do the same to her baby. Hall let the cycle repeat, and the realization of her actions left her in a state of unrest. I think she did the best she could in her difficult situation, and she should not blame herself based off of how others had perceived her and her predicament.

Who is Rachel Kalama?

There are a lot of things going on in my representation of Rachel, so lets begin. First, I have her name written in bright colors in the middle of the paper. I chose those colors because she is a colorful and vibrant little girl. Next, I have a little doll next to the R because Rachel loves dolls. They are an important part of her relationship with her father because he is rarely home. Wherever he travels to, he always brings back a doll for Rachel to play with and keep in her collection. Without her dolls, it is likely that Rachel would have felt sad and nostalgic of her life back home. Next, there is a shoe on the L to signify the days in which she wore shoes to school to hide her leprosy. She was teased and called Miss Shoe continuously and it was the first time she began feeling out of place. Furthermore, I drew a large boat which represents 2 things. First, it signifies Henry's job, his constant traveling. Second, it represents the boats that the leprosy patients were packed onto and shipped to Moloka'i. Finally, the whole setting of my drawing is the beach, more specifically Kalaupapa on Moloka'i. That is where the leprosy colony is located and where Rachel will spend the rest of her life. It is central to her story so I made it the most prominent thing in my representation.
     The quote I chose does not come directly from Rachel but I thought that it was said during an important time of her life. This quote represents the exact moment in which Sarah, Rachel's sister, called her a leper in front of her school mates and turned Rachel's life upside down. This was the moment when everyone found out that Rachel had leprosy and Sarah is the reason why Rachel got sent away to Moloka'i. Also, this was the first time that Rachel thought of herself as a leper and but two and two together. It was an overwhelming moment, not only for Sarah and Rachel as individuals, but for their whole relationship as well. That was perhaps the most life-changing moment in the book.

Who are you?

What I loved about The Joy Luck Club is the backgrounds of all the characters which is central to their stories. It got me thinking about how much a person's past can alter their future. I think we often forget to not pass judgement on people we do not know, and afterwards we feel shocked when our mental expectations of them are shattered. I loved how even though all of June's aunties shared the common background of China, each had a different struggle to shape who they ultimately became and how they raised their children. One of the biggest examples is the story of June's mother, Suyuan. When she was fleeing China, she was forced to jettison her two twin daughters. She left them by a tree with all of her valuable belongings in the hope that someone will pick them up and care for them. When she came to the U.S., she married again and had June. Suyuan believed that she passed down all of her sorrow and hope for her lost daughters to June, which is why June grew up with so much pressure on her shoulders. Yet, Suyuan never told June her story, or anything about her daughters in China, when she was alive. When June finally heard everything from her father, she realized why her mother was the way she was. This goes to prove how everyone has a unique past or upbringing that defines them and makes them who they are and who they become. This aspect of The Joy Luck Club intrigued me the most.