Double Vision

“Within a few years, my mother and I will seem close again.  I love her.  But she will never again be my mother” (138).

In this quote, Hall is expressing her troubled relationship with her mother. She shares the years prior to her sudden pregnancy which were filled with light and love by her mother. However, Hall was shocked when her pregnancy took all of that away. Her mother, always so loving and mysterious, betrayed Meredith by shipping her off to her father. In her daughter's time of need, she couldn't comfort her. Instead, Meredy was abandoned and lonely. In those moments she realized the relationship between her and her mother would never be the same.

I can agree and understand when Hall states that she loves her mother, but she could never be her mother again. The once happy and understanding mother is long gone. After Meredy's pregnancy, she realized that her mother had changed, and for the worst. She abandoned her motherly duties towards Meredy and blocked off her once notable love and affection. However Hall still loves her, as she still loved her father after he told her to stay away from him, because she knows how the times once were. Meredy knows there is love deep down inside them, and she cannot throw away the wonderful memories of her childhood prior to her pregnancy.

Betrayal By The Closest

“I love my father, but he is a weak man”

Meredith's father was a strange man to me. He lied to his family and went on trips where he cheated on his wife, then came home and pretended that nothing was wrong. He didn't even understand why his family was crying when he announced he was married only a year into their divorce. But worst of all, when the family would visit his parents, he came home to them and pretended that the household was still together. It was all one ridiculous charade. Meredith was right when she said that her father is weak. He gives into temptations and orders very easily. He broke his vows and cheated on his wife multiple times, and he let Catherine control his life. When Meredith visited her dad, all she wanted was to hold his hand and feel his love after all this heartbreak. Instead, Catherine put a stop to everything fun and innocent, and filled Meredith's heart with frost and anger. Her father never objected, he simply did whatever Catherine said, and Meredith was hurt. However, she never gave up on her father, even when he gave up on her. Meredith tried fixing things to the very end.

Mama, Please

“’Do you know what this town is saying about me?’ my mother answers from above. ‘They say that my daughter is common, a slut’” (22).

On nights when Meredith cannot take the pressure of her new life, she prays. She prays for someone to hold her, help her, and tell her that everything will turn out okay. Most of these prayers are directed towards her mother, the person who was supposed to stand by Meredith throughout the course of this pregnancy. Someone who will not care what society thinks of her or her daughter's situation, because there are more important things in life than worrying about other people's problems. However, Meredith's mother was the opposite of a supportive figure. Her first instinct was to ship Meredith off far away to live with her father to avoid the embarrassment she would cause at home. She was constantly worried about what others thought of her, and her reputation, which Meredith picks up on after a while of neglect and apathy. I cannot begin to comprehend the emotional suffering that Meredith had to endure, and I do not want to. A parent should stand up for their children and comfort them no matter what, but Meredith's mom abandoned her motherly duties.

Without a Friend

"I allowed my family and my community to abandon me when I was drowning. Worst of all, I allowed my baby to be abandoned."

In this quote, Hall is blaming herself for a part of what had happend to her. I believe that in this thought she was sorry she did not do more to help herself. She let herself go and was left disconnected and unknowing of what the future could of been if she had fought. Hall had a strong spirit, but when it came to reaching out to someone in her time of need, she did not have the willpower, or the choice. Hall was in haze of neglect and isolation, which can greatly effect the mood and overall character of a person. Through the apathy and abandonment she suffered from her family and friends, Hall let that effect her baby. I think she began to feel the same disinterest and withdrawal from her baby as everyone else did from her. However, once she was older and wise enough to understand the consequences of her actions, she realized what terrible mistakes she had made. Hall was left shunned from her only community, and family, she had and loved, and she let herself do the same to her baby. Hall let the cycle repeat, and the realization of her actions left her in a state of unrest. I think she did the best she could in her difficult situation, and she should not blame herself based off of how others had perceived her and her predicament.