"I allowed my family and my community to abandon me when I was drowning. Worst of all, I allowed my baby to be abandoned."
In this quote, Hall is blaming herself for a part of what had happend to her. I believe that in this thought she was sorry she did not do more to help herself. She let herself go and was left disconnected and unknowing of what the future could of been if she had fought. Hall had a strong spirit, but when it came to reaching out to someone in her time of need, she did not have the willpower, or the choice. Hall was in haze of neglect and isolation, which can greatly effect the mood and overall character of a person. Through the apathy and abandonment she suffered from her family and friends, Hall let that effect her baby. I think she began to feel the same disinterest and withdrawal from her baby as everyone else did from her. However, once she was older and wise enough to understand the consequences of her actions, she realized what terrible mistakes she had made. Hall was left shunned from her only community, and family, she had and loved, and she let herself do the same to her baby. Hall let the cycle repeat, and the realization of her actions left her in a state of unrest. I think she did the best she could in her difficult situation, and she should not blame herself based off of how others had perceived her and her predicament.
I think you explained this quote very well. Hall is somewhat to blame for what happened to her. If she really wanted to keep her child, then she could have. But she was not strong enough to make that decision and take that responsibility upon herself. Also, I never thought of the "cycle" that you mentioned. The cycle in which the parents are abandoning their children is really something to think about.
ReplyDeleteI found the mention of the "cycle" very interesting. I never realized completely while reading the prologue that, that was exactly what happened. She repeated that act of shunning. She felt shunned from her community family and she expressed this feeling outwards towards her unborn child. All of her abandonment was left on her child, because she had no where else to leave it or knowledge of where to leave it.
ReplyDeleteI feel like there's some duality to this. You mention that she was at fault and didn't reach out for help. The townspeople could have also reciprocated and reached out to her to understand how she felt (scared, guilty, etc) instead of turning their backs on her. I feel like even if she did reach out to them, they still would have shunned her anyway because people are assholes by nature and different doesn't fly. Also the way she words it, "i allowed my family and my community to abandon me", I feel as though she shunned herself in a way. These people were trying so hard to ignore the problem and if Hall could have drew their attention to the problem and openly displayed and talked about it (everyone knew anyway wheres the harm right?) they would've been forced to help instead of pretending it didn't exist. Nice job picking up on the "cycle" btw. that was super subtle (kind of like the 'b' in subtle)
ReplyDeleteThere certainly is a cycle here, but I would also question whether Meredith chose to abandon her child or not. She mentions in the prologue that there was never any question as to whether she'd be giving the baby up for adoption or not. That decision was not within her power to make. However, does that lessen the guilt any to think that she made a choice that resulted in her having to give a child up for adoption? No. She'll feel that guilt no matter what. Yet, adoption in and of itself, to me, isn't abandoning a child.
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